What kind of dance are we having? - The Power of Connection

It was a question that popped into my head at a social dance last week.

Not literally, of course. No one asks that.

But it was a quiet thought, a mental check-in as I danced with someone new.

Is this playful?

Still and slow?

Wild and experimental?

Do we have a good dance connection?

And more importantly: Are we having the same dance?

The truth is, every person we dance with brings their own energy, their own story, and their own way of showing up in that moment.

To that song.

They might be looking to explore, to practice something new, or to simply get lost in the music.

Sometimes, we’re not on the same page. Not out of rudeness or a lack of care, but simply out of habit. We get excited and fall back on our go-to moves.

We get stuck in our own flow and forget to check in with the person in front of us.

I’m definitely guilty of that.

But the most powerful dances aren't defined by flashy moves or complex choreography. They’re defined by connection.

The Power of the Unspoken Check-In

Connection means pausing and feeling where your partner is at. It means asking, even without words, a few simple questions:

• "Do you want to explore?" (A gentle lead into something new)

• "Or just feel?" (A subtle invitation to settle into the music)

• "Can we meet somewhere in between?" (A search for a shared rhythm)

  
  

This kind of communication is what makes a dance feel like a conversation. It's an honest exchange where you're not just leading or following, but listening.

You’re adapting in real-time.

You're giving your partner space to express themselves, to feel seen and heard.

Think about it: have you ever danced with someone and felt completely in sync, almost as if you’ve danced together a hundred times?

That’s not a coincidence. It's often because both people were listening.

They were reading the energy, the pauses, and the shifts.

They were having the same dance.

Beyond the Dance Floor

This idea isn't just for dancing. It's for every interaction we have, whether it’s with a colleague, a partner, or a friend.

How often do we get stuck in our own 'dance'—our own way of doing things, our own flow—without pausing to ask,

"Are we having the same conversation?"

We might be talking about a new project with a teammate, but are we both on the same page about the goal?

Are we exploring ideas together or are we each just waiting for our turn to speak?

The most meaningful relationships, and the most successful collaborations, are built on this same principle: listening, adapting, and finding that shared rhythm.

So the next time you step onto the dance floor—or into any conversation—consider pausing to ask yourself:

• What kind of dance are we having right now?

• And how can I listen a little more closely to my partner?

The most memorable moments won't be about the steps you took, but the connection you created.